Kids want to be as noticed, important, heard, irreplaceable, & loved as their parent’s phone & TV
Kids feel unloved around distracted parents
Kids feel unimportant, not cared about, and unloved when they are around distracted parents.
Dr. Jordan relates why your daughter might want to be a TV set:
They would have their family all around them warm & cozy & happy; They would take them seriously when they talk and really listen to them. They would be the center of attention and people would listen to them without interrupting. Their family would see them as interesting, funny, wise, knowledgeable, important, & irreplaceable. The family would immediately notice if they’re upset & not their best and care for them to get me back up and running. They want to be the person who brings the family together and makes everyone happy.
Here’s why your daughter might want to be a phone:
Phones are always with parents, always noticed, and parents would take them everywhere; prefer to look at me vs play with siblings or talk to their friends; always checking up on me to be sure I am happy and charged up; they’d never leave home without me much less leave me alone; they would brag to their friends about all the things I can do; I’d be last thing they check on or think about each night and first thing they check on each morning; they’d always tell me they couldn’t live without me or don’t know how they ever lived without me; they’d love me more and more each year as I get more and more interesting and complicated.
Here’s how to help kids feel loved & important
To avoid your daughter wanting to become your TV or phone, here are some suggestions to help girls feel more loved:
The whole family can agree to turn off devices when they eat, play games, travel in the car & be fully present with each othe.
Remember to do the little things: tuck ins each night, notice me without having to ask or create drama, ask my opinion, value what I have to say and who I am, value all parts of me just like the different channels; technology changes over time & so will I, so embrace all of my changes, spend uninterrupted time with me
Help them feel loved, noticed, special, understood, important, & valued
Contact Dr. Jordan: www.drtimjordan.com
To create more closeness around the dinner table or during car rides, check out Dr. Jordan’s Dinner Dialogue Cards for questions to gain deeper insight into kids and for them to learn more about you.
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