How We Are Messing Up Girls

How are parents and the culture messing up girls today?

On the one hand, we are conditioning girls to focus on being Podcast About Raising Daughterscompetitive, driven, ambitious, willing to step on people to get to the top, and individual achievement.  But we are still holding girls to the standard of being ‘good girls’; i.e. be nice to everyone, put other people’s needs before your own, don’t stand out, be obedient and follow the rules, wait your turn etc.  These mixed messages put a lot of stress on girls, causing a constant internal tension.

But that is just the tip of the iceberg.  Girls also hear these conflicting messages:

Be assertive but not too assertive; be hot and sexy but not sexual; be a leader but mostly from behind and quietly; be competitive with a winner-take-all attitude but also be close to the other girls; be authentic but try to fit in; take care of yourself but put other people’s needs first; be a loyal friend but you are out-of-the-loop if you don’t gossip and talk about other people behind their backs.

So you’re supposed to be perfect at everything and be at the top of your class and on the best sports teams winning national championships, but there is also always this constant voice in the back of your head saying: “not too high, not too loud, not too a lot of things.”

You can be whatever you want to be, but…you can’t be yourself!  It’s no wonder girls feel depressed, anxious, and overwhelmed a lot.

How We Are Messing Up Girls (YouTube video)


  1. Kelly Pasha says:

    However, be yourself, how do they know what that is? If u believe u r saying all of the above to them all the time then what is the true meaning of what is being themself? My daughter asked me that question the ither night. She is 14 in the 8th grade. I said what do you believe yourself would be? She said she did not know as at school she needs to be mindful, respectful quiet and cannot truly express herself with choice of clothing or hair etc… because either rules (albeit public school), what the boys might think? Or the mean girls might make fun? Or someone may make fun if they like it, or a friend may just make fun! Or they may like it or you are copying someone else in dressing like them or the way they act or look etc. Her and I went on with this regarding topics at church, store, friends house walking the dog even going tothe dentist? And she was right, who is she really as she does not know and always seems to be trying to impress someone somewhere and really does not know who she isbut knows what she likes and hopes to be!

Join Dr. Tim's Mailing List

Speak Your Mind


Join Our Mailing List