The nail that stands up gets hammered down. Unknown
The most common reason girls don’t speak their minds, handle conflicts directly, and ask for what they want is their fear of making other people mad and losing friendships. And because of the way society is wired today, there is a lot of validity for these worries. If a girl decides she is going to be honest and speak her mind, especially if it goes against the grain, here is what she is risking:
displease or disappoint others, rejection, ostracized
be unpopular and not fit in, be wrong or fail, look stupid
alone, lonely, and isolated, no boy/man will want you
persecuted and judged for being different
The truth that girls need to hear is that people who judge, exclude, or turn their back on you for being you are not worthy of your friendship. Sometimes girls need to go through a period of being in between groups in order to rid themselves of toxic friends and attract truer ones. And if they are willing to be themselves, and put themselves out there, warts and all, the people who they attract will be friends who love and accept them for who they really are.
And by the way, who really wants to “fit in” if it means losing yourself and your integrity. You are not meant to fit in; you are meant to shine your own light and define yourself from within, on your own terms.
Teach them to let go of this fear of rejection, understand that they have no control over and are not responsible for other people’s feelings or reactions, and that healthy relationships require both parties to be honest, real, and forthright.