Every Girl Is Meant to Shine

The nail that stands up gets hammered down. Unknown

The most common reason girls don’t speak their minds, handle conflicts directly, and ask for what they want is their fear of making other people mad and losing friendships. And because of the way society is wired today, there is a lot of validity for these worries. If a girl decides she is going to be honest and speak her mind, especially if it goes against the grain, here is what she is risking:

Ÿdisplease or disappoint others,  Ÿrejection, ostracized

True friends, warts and all!

True friends, warts and all!

Ÿbe unpopular and not fit in, Ÿbe wrong or fail, Ÿlook stupid

Ÿalone, lonely, and isolated, Ÿno boy/man will want you

Ÿpersecuted and judged for being different

The truth that girls need to hear is that people who judge, exclude, or turn their back on you for being you are not worthy of your friendship. Sometimes girls need to go through a period of being in between groups in order to rid themselves of toxic friends and attract truer ones. And if they are willing to be themselves, and put themselves out there, warts and all, the people who they attract will be friends who love and accept them for who they really are.

And by the way, who really wants to “fit in” if it means losing yourself and your integrity. You are not meant to fit in; you are meant to shine your own light and define yourself from within, on your own terms.

Teach them to let go of this fear of rejection, understand that they have no control over and are not responsible for other people’s feelings or reactions, and that healthy relationships require both parties to be honest, real, and forthright.

Comments

  1. Kathy Pruett says:

    I am so glad to have found this website and article. I really enjoyed watching the various media interviews on your website. I have a 12 year old daughter and a 16 year old daughter who are becoming strong and amazing young women. I talk to them all the time about self worth, listen to her intuition, her value, and about giving away her power in social situations. I am very interested in finding information about the social situations with boys and how to give them the tools or empower them to feel good about their decisions in the interactions. I am very concerned with what I hear from my daughters and their friends about the barrage of disrespect that is going on between not only boys and girls but also between girls. Thank you for doing the work that helps parents and girls navigate the world we live in now.

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