Parents need to support kids in finding their own intrinsic motivation in all that they do.
Intrinsic vs external motivation
A better question is: How can I support my daughter’s intrinsic motivation? How can I help her discover her own internal motivation?
In many ways, the answer is to get out of her way.
Ask kids why they love what they are doing
Ask kids why they want the grades they desire, and why they love the activities they are into. When they share why they love what they are doing, mirror it back to help them internalize their intrinsic good feelings for their passions.
Stories about finding your own motivation
Bobbi Brown story: taken from, Wherever You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be by Frank Bruni
Mia Hamm story from The Right Words at the Right Time, by Marlo Thomas
Value passion where you find it
Many kids do not find motivation with schoolwork/education until after HS or college when can choose what they study & pursue, especially if they are strongminded, independent, and with an entrepreneurial spirit. Some kids will NOT be into school the way you want no matter what parents do
Value passion where you find it, and trust that the lessons they learn from such pursuits will be transferrable to other endeavors
Jane Goodall & the Wright brothers were encouraged by their parents
The stories of Jane Goodall and the Wright brothers illustrate the importance of encouraging and supporting your children’s dreams.
For more information about how to support kids in finding their passions and calling, read Dr. Jordan’s book, She Leads: A Practical Guide for Raising Girls Who Advocate, Influence, and Lead
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