Show Notes:
In this podcast, learn the social readiness signs that would indicate your daughter is ready to try social media
Why the teen brain is at risk for addictions & risky behaviors
Learn how the teenage brain is more susceptible to addictions, risky behaviors, and the need to belong and fit in and be included by peers.
Why teen girls are at risk for misusing social media
Because of these vulnerabilities, Dr. Jordan lays out why teen girls are at risk for misusing social media and being negatively affected by it.
Critical social readiness signs
In this podcast, learn about some of the most important social signs that would indicate your daughter is ready to try social media. These include:
Does she stay disconnected from drama?
Staying disconnected from drama: Does she do a good job of staying out of drama? Not get sucked into friend’s squabbles? Not add to it?
Does your daughter have a history of staying in balance and taking breaks from friends? Does she have friends in different groups she can hang with if one group becomes toxic?
Does she handle conflicts directly & set firm boundaries?
Handle conflicts directly and peacefully: Has she shown the courage and maturity to be able to confront friends, set boundaries, tell friends her needs and also listen to theirs to create win-win solutions?
Does she understand the difference with being passive, aggressive, and assertive?
Has she surrounded herself with healthy friends?
Healthy friends: Mirror neurons in our brain causes individual choices to be powerfully shaped by what other people do, think, want, and what we think they want us to do.
Girls are hard-wired to connect; being alone meant death starting back in dangerous, uncivilized times. Mirror neurons keep track of what other people are thinking, feeling, and doing. It can cause girls to constantly compare themselves to her peers or people in the media: Am I fitting in? Doing right thing? Doing anything that may get me thrown out?
It’s critical that she hangs with healthy friends because things like emotions and rule-breaking are contagious.
Has she struggled to make or keep friends?
Has she struggled to make or keep friends? Does she have a past history of being excluded or kicked out of her friend group? Experiences like that can cause your daughter to develop unhealthy decisions about herself: I’m not good enough, cool enough, pretty enough, I’m too annoying or awkward.
These beliefs will make her vulnerable for not being herself, doing things and giving up parts of herself to fit in, having less courage to set boundaries, be at risk for being abused and used.
Is she being bullied currently or in the past? No best friend or a group? This can make her more vulnerable to being a target without the protection of a group around her; does she have a history of victimization? Has she been a target? Listen to my recent podcast on cyberbullying published 1-12-23
Is there a past history of being bullied?
Has she cultivated the ability to be alone & quiet?
Does she know how to be alone without being lonely? The crowd and social media distracts us from inward reflection; it’s easy for girls to become plugged in constantly and outwardly focused. The girl who constantly texts and checks Instagram hasn’t heard from herself in a long time.
Devices and social media makes it hard to not be preoccupied with what’s going on out there vs. within you; when alone, your thoughts and feelings are oriented inward; it’s a slower and quieter experience.
Has your daughter learned to cultivate, use, and enjoy quiet alone time?
Summary
No middle school or high school girl is going to be perfect and always live out these qualities; they are a work in progress. Let her know what you will be looking for socially to let you know she’s mature enough to handle what social media will throw at her. She’ll earn the privilege to try social media once she has earned it.
For an in-depth look at girl’s friendships and emotions, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need
