It’s healthy for girls to realize the many ways their parents do love them vs. lamenting the ways they don’t.
How ghosts in the nursery AFFECTS parent’s behavior
Dr. Jordan describes the concept of ‘Ghosts in the nursery’ to discover the reasons underlying parent’s behaviors;
link to previous podcast on ghosts in the nursery
How to reframe parent’s behaviors as ways they are loving their children
Reframing parent’s behaviors as ways they are loving their children is therapeutic and keeps kids out of anger, resentment, and feeling unloved.
Examples of ways parents love their children
Acts of service, doing things for them, giving rides, fixing things
Working long hours to provide a good life for them
Over worrying, micromanaging, and overprotecting are ways parents show love and concern.
Being overly strict, asking 50 questions about their daughter’s life, putting a child up for adoption, and going right to fix-it mode when listening
the value of Learning each other’s love language
Parents with a different love language than their daughter may have a harder time showing love in the way girls prefer, thus the need to educate each other about your love language
Finding other parent figures
For lots of reasons, sometimes parents are unable to provide the love a girl needs in the way she wants it, and so it is normal and critical she finds other parent figures who can be there in the ways she needs at different times in her life.
For more information on how to support your daughter’s emotions and friendship challenges, check out Dr. Jordan’s online course, Parenting girls: The challenges girls face today with their feelings and friends and what they need
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