My parents are setting me up to fail in college! The best predictors for success in college are having high levels of grit, hope, optimism, and self-efficacy. Too many parents rescue their kids, solve their problems, and take responsibility for their boredom, happiness, and motivation, leaving them weak and unable to handle the normal ups and downs of life. Qualities like grit, optimism, and self-efficacy are earned, not given as gifts. You’ve got to be able to overcome obstacles and challenges, take risks and make mistakes, and push through tough times to earn resiliency and confidence.
Parents are setting their kids up to be miserable adults! The mantra are kids are absorbing from parents and teachers today is this: get good grades in grade school so you can get into a good high school; get top grades in high school so you can go to a top-tier college; go to an ivy league college so that you can get a good job; get a good job so that you can make a lot of money. UGHH! Research across 40 cultures has shown again and again that people who are driven by externals, i.e. making money, and gaining fame or status, end up with higher levels of mental health problems like depression, anxiety, poorer quality relationships, and more unhappy and less fulfilled. People focused on intrinsic values like being of service, personal growth, and having strong relationships score higher on all the important markers of happiness, health, and fulfillment. We need to shift our focus so that our kids shift theirs.
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